Being 3.5 is hard!

Jane is such a loving, beautiful, smart, talented little girl.  She amazes me everyday.  She remembers some crazy things I never would expect she would.  She has a passion for acting and singing.  She's curious about everything and asks lots of questions.  She's very affectionate.  She loves to have the attention of her mommy and daddy. 

She's always been a "needy" child and very emotional.  Brian and I have learned how to parent in a way we think is best for her.  For the most part, we thought we were doing okay.  Until recently that is.  We couldn't figure out what was going on.  She had been sick, but she was better.  Nothing has changed at home.  (She doesn't know about the baby yet.)  So why is our already emotional child spiraling out of control?  Crazy things will set her off, like getting out the wrong car door for school created an entire morning of crying- at school!  Fears she already has are worse than ever and new fears of things like bears and foxes have popped up.  Other things like refusing to play, wouldn't take her theater class, covering her face during storytime all had us boggled.  She is shyer and clingier than ever.  Brian wanted me to take her to the doctor.  Maybe she needed to see a therapist, he said. 

I read a quote somewhere that said "mom's do better research than the FBI".  What did our parents do without the internet??  I came across an article that I was able to take some comfort in.  In fact, I hadn't heard of this before so I was really happy to have come across it.  It talks about how in the course of a year children go through equilibrium and disequilibrium.  Disequilibrium occurs during the half years, for instance the period between 3.5years and 4.  During this period children are confused, emotional, and temperamental.  It went on to discuss a lot of the issues we were seeming to have with Jane.  There's a book I'd like to try and find that the article referenced.  It's called "Your Three Year Old:Friend or Enemy".  I read another article that I was able to relate to.  That one talked about how 3.5 year olds are confused.  We as parents try to push our 3.5 year olds to become independent, things like dressing themselves and playing by themselves.  I know for myself, I tried to have Jane sit during storytime because I thought she was capable, while I had to chase and entertain Molly.  Well the article says that during this age they seem to regress and ask us as parents to dress them (yup, Jane does that), play with them (yup, Jane does that too) or when I had her at storytime, she just wanted to sit on my lap and not be alone.  3.5 year olds are fighting an internal battle on growing up vs. staying a baby. 

All that seems to make a lot of sense.  So we take each day for what it is and try and help her find herself.  We're also trying to express and explain our own emotions so she can try and relate to them and understand our reactions to these emotions, hoping to teach her that crying doesn't have to be the only reaction to have.  Boy, you'd think being a little kid would be easy! 

No Painted Rainbows

This morning I was frustrated.  Beyond frustrated to be more precise.  Having more than one child pushes you to the limit sometimes.  Sometimes I get very tired of reading blogs where it seems that life is just perfect.  Their children get along, they never get upset, or heaven forbid yell, at their children, life is just one beautiful painted rainbow. 

I like a lot of positivity in my life.  But on my worst of days, I just want to not feel alone.  Like there is someone else out there who has mommy-tantrums too.  So if you are looking for someone to feel your pain, have a seat and wallow with me.

It all seems like a blur now.  And it only occurred mere hours ago. 

It wasn't even 7am yet.  

Jane was whining.  Molly was whining.

Jane throws a tantrum over I don't even know what.

Jane is grabbing toys out of Molly's hands.  Molly is crying.

I tell Jane if she can't be nice she needs to go to her room.

Jane goes to her room.  Molly follows her.

Jane slams to door on Molly.  Opens the door and yells at Molly, then slams it shut.  Molly cries.  Jane opens door and yells at her again, then slams the door once more.

 I go upstairs yelling for Jane to stop.  

I open the door and Jane crawls in my lap and I calmly tell her that slamming the door is not ok and neither is yelling at Molly.  

Two seconds later Jane is screaming at Molly to get off her bed.  Now I'm screaming at Jane to stop yelling at Molly.  

Three seconds later same as above occurs again.

Things are calm for a minute so I leave to go get dressed for the day.

More yelling and crying is heard. 

They go down stairs.

Jane takes toys from Molly.  Molly is crying

I go downstairs freaking out at Jane.

I notice that most of my frames on the stairway wall are hanging by their corners.  I fix them and continue downstairs.

Jane sits in my lap where I start to talk to her when 3 of my frames come crashing down.   Smashed.

I get upset, ask Jane if she was playing with them.

Jane's crying.

I'm crying.

Molly is just sitting there.

I absolutely realize that there were things I could have done early on to change the outcome of this whole episode.  But it was what it was at this point.  Luckily, we were able to salvage the rest of our morning.  And where I realize that Jane needed consequences for her actions, I chose to explain how I was feeling and asked for her help.  Then I went upstairs for a whole ten minutes and Jane and Molly played together.  They were even laughing.  And I thanked God for giving me that moment of peace because I might have really gone out of my mind if things continued. 

This level of crazy doesn't occur everyday, thank goodness. However, we do have our daily dose of madhouse.  Refusal to get dressed, wanting something they can't have, not listening, being disrespectful, etc.  Yeah it happens.  Everyday.  And I don't always handle it like I would have wanted.  If you're supermom and never freak out at your kids, please share your secrets!

A Day in the Life

Yesterday I thought I'd try and capture our day.  Everyday is different.  This is just a Tuesday.

6am

Rise and shine.  Not by my choice.  

Bed to couch.  Dora was on.  Not one of my favorite shows, but the girls seem to like it lately.  Until 7:30 they kinda ran around playing with toys, coming back to see the tv here and there and ate their breakfast.  Meals are not fancy.  In fact, they are hardly existent for the girls.  I've wrote about Jane's past feeding issues before.  I wouldn't say she has issues anymore, though she is extremely picky and eats like a bird.  I feel completely defeated when it comes to her and food.  Her breakfast everyday is a package of Special K breakfast bars.  Molly is almost equally as picky.  Her breakfast was milk and a banana.  I try to offer Molly only healthy choices.  It's hard when she has a sister who can eat whatever she wants because it's the only thing she will eat.  

7:30am

TV went off and the girls played, read books, jumped on my bed, and we all got ready for our day.  Our playdate for the morning was cancelled due to the other kiddos being sick so we needed to improvise.  Our church has a big indoor playground free to the community.  It was rainy and cold.  Indoor playground seemed like a good idea to me.  Jane wasn't so interested in going anywhere, but we've spent too many mornings at home lately.  However she did want a donut.  Hmmm, I think we can manage that.

9:05am

Out the door.

Ok so I don't literally give Jane whatever she wants whenever she wants it, BUT Dunkin' Donuts was the perfect solution because I had been craving a bagel with cream cheese for days and it got Jane out the door.  Molly gets her fix of junk for the day.  (Bad mom!)  

 

The girls have a lot of fun playing.  And I got a workout climbing to the top of the playland with Molly.

11:15

Nap/Lunch

 As I got Molly ready for a nap, Jane was being so cute making ice cream.  I bought this OLD McDonalds toy that serves pretend drinks, milkshakes, and ice cream over the weekend at a Mommy Market.  I knew it would be a hit around here.

Molly went down for a nap, Jane ate cheese for lunch, and we watched some tv.  I set up a mini project for Jane to do.

 

I think Umizoomi was more interesting.  (Time to get some new project supplies.)

1:30pm

Molly woke up from her nap and we needed to go get milk.  A 30 second car ride takes us to a little market where we get glass bottled milk.  Unfortunately it's on a busy road so we can't walk there.  But they have produce, baked goods, and their own free range chicken.  

 

The sun was shining and it had turned into a fairly decent day, minus the wind!  As soon as we got home we played outside.

It snowed Monday but the daffodils are coming up!

First we hit up the swing set.

Apparently the snow on the swing is pretty tasty.

Then we were off in search of some puddles.

We found the queen of all puddles and the girls loved it!

Before we went in to change out wet pants, we checked out the stream.  I spent most of the time trying to keep Molly from going in it.  Jane loves to throw sticks in after we've had a lot of rain.

The neighborhood cat really likes us.


3:30pm
Daddy came home from work.  I went to go get my haircut.  (Looooong overdue!)  Brian took the girls to Walmart to get a few things but then at the checkout realized he'd forgotten his money.  We both got home just before 5 and we made dinner, ate, gave the girls a bath, and everyone went to bed at 7. 


And that's a day in our life :)

21 Months

 

I know 21 months isn't a huge milestone, but Molly has been transforming from baby to little girl before my eyes these days.  

We were watching some home videos yesterday from about a year ago.  So amazing.  I'm not good about getting the girls on video, but my dad is awesome.  He gets pieces of the girls and puts together these fabulous movies that we all really love watching.  To see how the girls are changing, so quickly I might add, is such a gift.  

Our little Molly is SUCH a chatterbox, most of which we don't yet understand.  But she certainly has something to say.  She can say a lot of words, and when she says just one or two of them together, we can understand what she's saying.  Her favorite thing to say is "I did that".   She's proud to show off what she did (which is usually make some sort of big mess).  She also likes to name everyone.  If we are in the car she'll say everyone who is there.

She has an infectious laugh.  We just love every giggle.  She has quite a sense of humor and seems to understand things we think should be beyond her. 

Molly's become a mommy-fiend!  Yikes!  I thought Jane had it bad when she was Molly's age.  She never leaves the room I'm in.  She waits for me outside the shower, often crying.  She started crying when I leave her in the nursery at church (booo, I hate that!).  If I need to run an errand without her, she stands at the window watching and crying.  She wakes up at night and cries for me.  She now can say "I want mama" which really makes my heart ache.  I know this passes all too quickly so I'm honestly just trying to enjoy her attachment.

She looks up to all that Jane can do.  She really tries to be just like her.  If Jane's jumping, Molly's jumping.  If Jane's playing dollhouse, Molly wants to play dollhouse.  If Jane has ice cream, Molly wants ice cream (including eating by herself!).  

Molly is quite the dare devil.  She likes to go down slides head first, climbs up on anything, does forward rolls all over the house, jumps with both feet off the ground on beds, sofas, chairs, etc.  

A few other of her favorites- her doggie, animals, reading "No David", other kids, her pacifier, pushing her little stroller, emptying my wallet, donuts.

 

The little blob that is sucking all life outta me

How is it possible that something so teeny can be so energy zapping? 

Last night I had my ultrasound, and I was able to see that little heart flicker on the monitor and see this little babe wiggling around so I figured it was about time to make this official.  Almost 10 weeks old.  Such a little miracle.

We could not be more excited for October to roll around so we can meet this last little Rush of ours.  We always knew we wanted to have three children.  Ultimately, we know it's all in God's hands, but we put a lot of thought into our family planning.  We've been blessed with the ability to get pregnant right away, and each child was/will be born when we thought would be best for the family.  But it still feels like so much pressure.  Are we taking on more than we can handle?  We certainly already have our hands full.  And although I would love to have 10 babies, selfishly, I could never do that to my girls.  I look at people like the Duggers, who are really remarkable, but think, how can she possibly have enough time to love all those children?  I know, of course, she does love them.  But how physically?  How does she have time?  Maybe my babies just are more demanding of my time, but I'm pretty sure once we add this third little one to our family, I'm going to be spread pretty thin finding the quality time to give them the attention they deserve.  And so, 3 is the number just right for us.

Babies are so amazing and such a blessing.  I can't wait to hold this little baby, and have him snuggle against my chest.  I can't wait for first smiles, laughs, and coos.  I'm beyond excited for this little one to reveal it's personality.  I can't wait to see how the girls bond with this baby and how, hopefully, they grow into best of friends.

 I kinda feel bad calling this baby a blob...but that ultrasound picture is so lousy, that's all it looks like!

Hopefully, now that I seem to have some life in me, I'll get around to posting more.  I also have had some computer issues.  Tax return = new laptop.