Being 3.5 is hard!

Jane is such a loving, beautiful, smart, talented little girl.  She amazes me everyday.  She remembers some crazy things I never would expect she would.  She has a passion for acting and singing.  She's curious about everything and asks lots of questions.  She's very affectionate.  She loves to have the attention of her mommy and daddy. 

She's always been a "needy" child and very emotional.  Brian and I have learned how to parent in a way we think is best for her.  For the most part, we thought we were doing okay.  Until recently that is.  We couldn't figure out what was going on.  She had been sick, but she was better.  Nothing has changed at home.  (She doesn't know about the baby yet.)  So why is our already emotional child spiraling out of control?  Crazy things will set her off, like getting out the wrong car door for school created an entire morning of crying- at school!  Fears she already has are worse than ever and new fears of things like bears and foxes have popped up.  Other things like refusing to play, wouldn't take her theater class, covering her face during storytime all had us boggled.  She is shyer and clingier than ever.  Brian wanted me to take her to the doctor.  Maybe she needed to see a therapist, he said. 

I read a quote somewhere that said "mom's do better research than the FBI".  What did our parents do without the internet??  I came across an article that I was able to take some comfort in.  In fact, I hadn't heard of this before so I was really happy to have come across it.  It talks about how in the course of a year children go through equilibrium and disequilibrium.  Disequilibrium occurs during the half years, for instance the period between 3.5years and 4.  During this period children are confused, emotional, and temperamental.  It went on to discuss a lot of the issues we were seeming to have with Jane.  There's a book I'd like to try and find that the article referenced.  It's called "Your Three Year Old:Friend or Enemy".  I read another article that I was able to relate to.  That one talked about how 3.5 year olds are confused.  We as parents try to push our 3.5 year olds to become independent, things like dressing themselves and playing by themselves.  I know for myself, I tried to have Jane sit during storytime because I thought she was capable, while I had to chase and entertain Molly.  Well the article says that during this age they seem to regress and ask us as parents to dress them (yup, Jane does that), play with them (yup, Jane does that too) or when I had her at storytime, she just wanted to sit on my lap and not be alone.  3.5 year olds are fighting an internal battle on growing up vs. staying a baby. 

All that seems to make a lot of sense.  So we take each day for what it is and try and help her find herself.  We're also trying to express and explain our own emotions so she can try and relate to them and understand our reactions to these emotions, hoping to teach her that crying doesn't have to be the only reaction to have.  Boy, you'd think being a little kid would be easy!