Pieces of Them

 

I look at these two.  Girls now.  No baby left in them.  (Though they will always be my babies.)  It seriously breaks my heart that they are growing so fast.  I wish I could somehow keep them just as they are right now!

I have 10 Rubbermaid boxes of clothing that they have outgrown.  We pulled them out from the basement so that someone I know could go through them for her infant daughter. Before she came over I rummaged through them, searching for the clothing that could be considered gender neutral.  I was digging for yellow but kept pulling out pinks, thinking, holy cow, they were this tiny not that long ago.  I held on to these little outfits, reminiscing.  Every piece has a memory.  I remember who gave us each piece or where I bought it.  In my mind I was picturing the times they wore these little outfits, like when we brought them home from the hospital, the first time they sat up and walked, or just where we had went that day.

So many emotions.  

The woman came and started searching through the boxes, unfolding the clothes, looking at them without any memory tied to them, then tossing them into her want or leave pile. 

So many emotions.

I wanted her to stop scrutinizing each piece, each piece that had been carefully laundered.  There were no stains.  Each piece had been taken care of with love.  Everything is perfect.  When she tossed it to her "leave" pile, I wanted to say, hey, what's wrong with that piece??  That's what my daughter wore when I took her to the Please Tough Museum for the first time.  It's a very special outfit, how do you not see that?

I wanted to just scream, STOP.  Stop taking the clothes apart, stop throwing them, stop taking them.  I wanted to tell her I changed my mind.  I want to keep them.  All of them.  

But that's just crazy.  

When she was done I helped her bag them up.  In a way I felt like she was taking away my memories and away little pieces of my girls. 

But I am so thankful I've taken so many, many photos over the years.  I don't need to look at clothing to go back to these memories.  I have my pictures.  And I vow to never stop taking pictures, lots and lots of pictures.  Clothes will come and go.  I'll have my pictures forever.