What I think I should do verses what I want to do. And my heart is winning.
I know every parent has to do this. And tonight, after weeks of half-asked attempts, I think I've made up my mind. I like bedtime to be pleasant and peaceful. But when I put that sweet little girl in her crib and quickly walk away, run down the stairs to sit next to the baby monitor, I ache. She tosses and turns. Then starts the cry. Within minutes she's hysterical. I say to myself, I'm going to wait it out. Maybe it will only take 15 minutes. That's not too long. But every night, after 8 LONG minutes when I can't take it another second, I run to her.
I'm weak. And I know it. But my heart can't take another night. And I feel like I should be okay with this decision. But why do I feel like I'm breaking the rules.
Here and now, I need to let that go and accept it. Yes, I sit and hold, rock, and sing my baby to sleep. And there is nothing wrong with that.
I wish I could just come give you a great big hug right now!!! We don't do the cry it out method either and take heart my little man is now sleeping more through the night than waking up, but on the nights he wakes up, I still get up and rock him. I felt soooo isolated when I decided not to do that because EVERYONE was telling me that is what I needed to do, but it broke my heart. I still have days where I want to let him to cry though because I am at my wits end ; )
ReplyDeleteI whole heartedly (sp?) feel like you are doing the best thing for you and your little girl. I tried the crying 1 night and could never do it again. All this to say, you are not the only one.
Thank you for your support and kind words! That's exactly it, and I feel like everyone I know with babies right now is getting them to sleep. And I think, what the heck is wrong with me? Why can't I do this too?
ReplyDeleteThe good thing is, I'm actually looking forward to bedtime tonight! No more crying :)
I am so sorry for your pain!! I too was not goo at crying it out. For my little guy I held him with a bottle til he fell asleep and then would lay him in his crib. Now I lay him in with his bottle and that is a whole other battle... I need to get rid of the bottle :)
ReplyDeleteI say love her, hold her and do what feels right to YOU!!
I struggle with this too. My baby is 9 months old and she still doesn't sleep through the night. I am in the same boat, I have tried letting her cry it out but it doesn't always work and I can't let myself do it. I think going with your instinct is the best way.....I have tried a couple other methods that seem to work better. I will post them on my blog soon. (I'm in the midst of transferring posts)
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I've tried the go in at 3, 5, 7 minutes. But it seems like when I go in it gets worse! Some nights I sit on a chair right next to her crib and she will go to sleep. So the second night that I decided that I would just rock her, she wouldn't settle down. So I thought I'd just put her in the crib for a while and when she started fussing I'd go back and get her. Well, she fell asleep! I just don't get it! She's totally unpredictable!
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